The Longest March

It’s a bit cliche today to say that March felt like the longest month. Ever. But it’s true.

I still find it hard to believe that the month started out with me flying to Seattle for a Sounders match, and ended with me losing Olive.

This was the last picture I took of her – on the Saturday before she passed away.

The vet called the other day and said her ashes were ready. We haven’t talked too much about when we’ll pick her up, but I was hoping the memorial that I purchased for her would be ready by then.

The day Olive passed away is also the day my running streak came to an end. Ultimately I managed to run 81 days in a row, logging 271.78 miles in the process (averages run of 3.36 miles per day.)

Even with missing five days in March, and logging my lowest mileage month of the year, I’m still on track for 1,000 miles.

  • March Total: 79.05 miles
    • Average March Run: 3.04 miles
  • February Total: 99.20 miles
    • Average February Run: 3.42 miles
  • January Total: 108.67 miles
    • Average January Run: 3.51 miles
  • 2020 Total: 286.92 miles
    • Average 2020 Run: 3.34 miles
  • Longest Run: 5.32 miles (1/27)
  • Shortest Run: 1.32 miles (1/11)

Even though my work is considered an Essential Business, I’ve been trying to work from home. I managed most of one week before getting frustrated with internet issues before deciding to head back into the office.

Besides the feeling of being more productive at the office, by going into work it gives me a definitive break in my day and that separation between home and work is good for my overall sanity.

While I was at home, I managed a few underwhelming runs outside.

I also feel like I haven’t updated my site much in March. I missed talking about getting a gift card on Employee Appreciation Day way back on the 6th, so K and I used that (along with the one that my brother gave us for Christmas awhile back), and treated ourselves to chicken, and steak, and shrimp, and even some Jack and Cokes.

Our Hiking Club also went out on the 7th, which ended up being my last hike. We’ve since canceled/postponed our future hikes because of what’s happening in the world.

We headed outside of Boulder to a trail that was recently reopened after a few years – Anne U White Trail. It was a nice 3ish mile or so out and back route. Beautiful day to be outside, plus we had our largest winter group yet (probably because it was close to Boulder.)

Since it was so nice out, we sat outside and enjoyed some delicious beers and yummy mac and cheese from Twisted Pine Brewing.

Life without Olive is still hard. Those first few days were definitely the hardest. I remember waking up early so I could take her out for her morning walk, and then realizing we’ll never go on a walk again. Or the one morning while giving Ninkasi his morning treats, calling for Olive so she can her morning treats as well.

While we will never know what goes through the minds of our pets, I still have a feeling that the cats miss Olive, especially Ninkasi. Yes, he’s been known to visit her crate and go to sleep in there (or on her bed), but lately he’s been spending a lot more time on her pillow. Olive has been a constant present for both Ninkasi and Watson since we’ve had them as part of our family.

I still replay that Sunday in my mind. It started out so normal. I was spending a lot of time in my den/office hanging up more pictures on the walls.

K was really concerned about the bleeding in Olive’s mouth that didn’t stop all morning.

Admittedly I thought she was just be over sensitive – she probably bit her tongue or cheek, or maybe messed up a tooth (since she had just eaten a biscuit earlier that morning). I feel awful thinking that because of how the day ultimately ended up.

I don’t know if we’ll ever get another dog. K mentioned awhile back that we will, but that was before Olive passed away. More recently she said she understood why I would want to wait a bit, maybe even years.

When Olive passed away, I reactivated my Facebook just so I could post something on her page. And then I posted something on my own page, and even linked my blog post there (and surprisingly linked the same post to my Instagram page, and to the Cemetery Dance Forum). Even people who never met Olive were affected by her passing. So many people said really kind things to me (some even texted me) about her.

I know the sadness will eventually fade, but there’s a hole in my heart that will forever be empty, but at least I have over 12 years of memories of my time with her to help fill that hole.

Last week K made me a drawing. She used to draw quite a bit when she was younger, but for whatever reason she stopped. I know she was looking for her sketchbook but I figured that she just wanted to find it so she could draw since she had so much time on her hands being trapped at home and not working. And yes, she wanted to draw, but the drawing was for me. It might be one of the kindest most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me.

Currently it’s sitting next to me on my desk and it just makes me so happy.

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